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'Ow bist?
1,084 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
How good a driver are you?
I've never had an accident or pranged my car58.93%
I've never had an accident that was my fault712.50%
I've only had one or two prangs in the last five years35.36%
I've had a few accidents and knocks916.07%
I'm an Advanced Driver (IAM)712.50%
I'm a Police driver11.79%
I'm an advanced Police driver47.14%
I'm a Fire Appliance / Ambulance driver35.36%
I was trained in car control by HM Armed Forces35.36%
I only had the lessons I needed to pass my driving test1017.86%
I'm completely self-taught11.79%
I'm a rubbish driver, me11.79%
I'm Scottish23.57%

'Ow bist?
1,084 Posts
Discussion Starter · #2 ·
So, I'm sitting here thinking we're a pretty mature bunch (I, for example, am now extremely old) and we're all fairly successful and intelligent characters. I base this on the fact that we can afford to and chose to or aspire to purchase a VW Touareg - a not inexpensive piece of quality automotive transport. And I'm thinking, I wonder if all that success, maturity and intelligence makes us good drivers.

Make two marks - one to indicate your driving record (the first four questions) and the second to indicate your 'official' level of driving competence.


Premium Member
1,313 Posts
I'm glad we're a honest bunch so far :!:

19,976 Posts
6 cyclists - none my fault as I as stationery each time - but a price you pay for living in Oxford as I did for a number of years

Ran into the rear of another car three times [once after sneezing and looking at the greenie that I'd blown into the palm of my hand!]. That is three separate cars by the way, not the same one times three. No damage on two occasions but a bill and a fine on the the third with a trip to hospital for some facial needlework for the passenger who went out through the windscreen.

Run into by a hit and run driver resulting in one of the first helicopter chases in the Thames Valley whilst a policeman sat on my wife's lap.

Run into by an idiot farmer in his Land Rover and again by an uninsured Somali in Birmingham - avoid the A34 Sparkhill/Sparkbrook/Camp Hill area.

Reversed into by a clown who selected the wrong gear as he moved off but watched by a police sergeant who dealt with the matter by organising an exchange of cash to repaint the otherwise undamaged front bumper on my Land Rover.

Same Land Rover was run into by someone in a Morris Minor Traveller in a narrow steep lane. I'd seen him coming, stopped and climbed out the back by the time he'd stopped sliding downhill on wet leaves. Luckily I still hadn't painted the bumper from the previous shunt!

Sideswiped by a hit and run who, when I caught him up then lobbed bricks at me so a retreat in Italian reverse and I let the police sort it out.

Wrapped a Ford Escort Estate around a steel pillar in the car showroom as I was moving stock around. A kindly body shop manager fixed it before the garage owner saw it!

Scraped the side of a Transit van down my Dad's Cotswold stone wall on my way to see if it would fit in a customer's garage - it did and as it was dark the punter never saw the damage which was fixed when he came to pay and collect.

Hit in the face by a pheasant coming through the windscreen: the only scars left were on me.

Falling off my moped on an icy bridge the olny injury being pride and a bust pedal.

Ripped up 40 yards of newly laid pavement with a tine cultivator when a stabiliser link broke on the back of the tractor.

Pulled down the village's telephone cables when I put one too many layers of straw bales on the trailer to clear the field.

Pinned to the steering wheel of the tractor when the trailer linkage broke as I tipped a silage trailer which reared up and then trapped me. Luckily I wasn't injured apart from severe bruising.

One car nicked never to be seen again, the same car some hairy Mary on the school run drove into.

Two cars broken into twice each.

One car keyed - twice.

Killed two badgers, one dog, one cat, several rabbits, and numerous pheasants and birds but, best of all last year, one squirrel and one crow!

Run out of road three times but got away with just a few tufts of grass in the suspension.

Been shot at once: found a .22 rifle bullet in the leaking radiator.

And one car run into whilst stationery twice within 12 months, both times by elderly ladies who have since died so don't mess with my wife whose car it was.

And that's about it over a million miles. Quite uneventful really. Anyone want to come for a drive? Staffs did!!

76 Posts
Tore my own mirror off on a gate post - more worried about the mother and child getting too close on the other side

Reversed into a very low brick wall, cracking bumper

Rolled into the wheel arch of the A4 driver who had flashed to let me out then when I looked the other way to check it was still clear closed the gap!!!! :roll:

ABS has saved my life on a couple of occassions also

Hit by white van man going round country lane cracking my wing mirror casing :evil:

Motorcycles - ran into back off Ford Sierra who stopped on main drag for no reason in heavy rain, no where to go except over the back of it landing in the road next to a police van coming the other way, plenty of coming off on slippy bends/roundabouts

Cycles - 6.9 swan dive outside Stratford Railway Station as the car overtaking me decided to go into the left filter whilst I was going straight on, wing mirror clipped handlebars and over I went, they gave false details but luckily I was doing some work with the City of London Police and they ran the index and he was charged and got hefty fine

40 Posts
learned to drive in the work van when I was 17 with L plates on Lwb transit Only had one driving lesson in a car and passed first time , Did a course for my bike test passed first time, had a few bumps doing road rallying (night events) ended up on my roof twice but no real road accedents while doing average motoring

Senior Member
240 Posts
Had 5 driving lessons, passed first time, never crashed my own car, although:

1. Whacked girlfriends vauxhall Chevette into a concrete post in mult-storey car park. We were arguing, I got angry, full lock on and reversed Steve McQueen stylee, straight into the massive concrete pillar 10 inches from the front wing! Surprising amount of damage!

2. Missus reversed our VW Touran into neighbours Micra, muchos embarrassmentos - Touran needed a new tailgate, Micra needed scrapping!

3. Nearly lost it twice in the Nurburgring in the wet. It got foggy very quickly, and I didn;'t slow down. No damage done, except to my undercrackers
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